Are you afraid to make a move because you’re unsure of the outcome? Maybe you are waiting for a guarantee before you make your next move.
I hear folks say, “I want to quit my job, but I don’t know if it will work out,” “I want to start dating again, but only if I meet my soul mate” or “I really want to travel, but I don’t have enough money.”
So many of us have goals and dreams that we want to accomplish, and we think, “If only I knew how it would work out, then I could move forward.” We don’t really know what to do because we are unsure of the outcome.
Many of us fail to act or move forward because the thought of making a wrong move feels catastrophic. Our thoughts turn negative when we perceive that our next step will put us into a permanent position we can’t get out of. Think about it. Think about a situation where you accepted a new job, or got involved with a new relationship, whether romantically or a new business venture; what were your thoughts? Most people don’t start things by focusing on the end, because we don’t want a promising situation to end. We start new relationships, new diets, new jobs, and make new friends because we want them to work out. We want them to, in essence, be permanent things, because if they work out, that means we are happy, right?
The truth: When we choose to see our choices as a permanent and a final state, it is a habit that hinders our happiness. Looking at anything as permanent is a path that will trip you up in life. We often hold on to things even when they are meant to be let go of. Jobs that no longer inspire us, relationships that we’ve outgrown …we are afraid to let go because we aren’t sure what will happen when we make our next move.
I call this the life guarantee, where we won’t make a decision because we need to know it will work out. We want the guarantee.
If you have a difficult time making a decision because you are afraid or unsure of the outcome, these steps can help:
1. Treat life like a giant experiment
What if everything you do is just about exploring and trying it out? The expectations we put on our experiences are what hurt us the most. Instead of thinking the outcome has to look a certain way, be in the journey of exploration. Take your power back by making choices that feel aligned with your joyful heart. You can do this by treating life like a big experiment. Everything becomes more fun and playful.
2. It never ends
Often we don’t make a choice because we don’t know how it will work out. Instead of asking what if, what if this doesn’t work, etc., adopt the mentality that everything is always a progression of each other. You will make a choice, then learn more and grow as a person, which will result in you making new choices. So, in essence, nothing is ever wasted and no experience is a mistake. Recognize it never ends and you will feel freer.
3. Don’t look outside yourself
Instead of looking outside of yourself at things you think will make you happy—more money, a smaller body size, the perfect relationship, the dream job—start to cultivate more joy in the moment. Feeling excited about your life right now will take off pressure and allow you to be more relaxed. Realize all of your choices are opportunities to learn and grow. There are no wrong turns, only right choices when you align with your heart.
These tips are from my new book Adventures for Your Soul. Get your copy here.
This was awesome! Thank you!