So many of us feel stuck right now in life—old feelings are surfacing, plans we wanted are not happening, and we feel off track, behind and like something is wrong with us. We’ve been doing the work, showing up for the assignments, practicing the tools, yet things still feel off. We aren’t where we hoped to be, things aren’t flowing like we wanted, and expectations have blocked us from seeing the joy in the journey. We can only blame Mercury retrograde for so long, and for those on a personal growth and spiritual journey, you will get to a point where the work starts to work you. When we get to this point, the only thing left to do is surrender.
I led a workshop last weekend with the theme of “let it go.” So many of us want to feel better and we are reaching for something outside of ourselves. A new experience to help pull us out of a stuck, static, unpleasant state. Maybe you have a job that is sucking the life out of you, or you are in a relationship that is draining you, or your financial situation is overwhelming, or maybe you are going through a health crisis, and life keeps throwing you unexpected curve balls. It can be hard to see clearly through all the pain. We often want to move out of this stuck, frustrating state, but have no idea which direction to go. The first thing we can do is let go of what is not serving us. But it isn’t letting go in the way you think.
As Jeff Brown said, “It’s not about letting go. It’s about letting life in. It’s about letting it deep. It’s about letting it through. It’s about being true to your feelings. It’s about giving your experiences the attention they deserve. And that may take a moment, it may take years. The trick is not to shame your need to hold on to what has yet to be resolved. ‘Let it go’ is the mantra of the self-avoidant, feigning resolution because they lack the courage or the preparedness to face their feelings. Let’s not play that game. Let’s let things in and through until they are fully and truly ready to shift. Let’s let it grow into the transformation at its heart. We write our story but fully living it. Not by ‘letting it go’ before it’s time.”
When we feel stuck, we may not have control over life but we always have control over the present moment and how we choose to react and feel. I know anxiety can take hold and wrap us up in a vicious cycle of self-blame, worry, and panic, but catching yourself before this happens is key. We can catch ourselves by identifying the need to want to have it all figured out, and instead of surrendering to the journey. We can identify the root cause of why we feel stuck and why it is so hard to let go, and in recognizing we can release.
I’ve gathered the top things that hold us back and a list of things we don’t even know are affecting our ability to feel peace and move forward.
Expectations
Expectations are the root of all heartache—William Shakespeare said it best. When we expect things to happen a certain way and they don’t, we feel let down and fall into worry or self-sabotage. Unmet expectations can leave us feeling as if we did something wrong. When in reality, having expectations for a situation can help focus us. But the key is in realizing our need to know the outcome because the universe always has a plan greater than ours. Instead of expecting specific outcomes, turn your attention to trust and faith that the universe will deliver what is best for you always at the right time.
Fear of Rejection
The number one fear of people is being rejected or not fitting in. Social pressure to be liked is enormous and it actually robs us of our joy and freedom. So many of us are putting on a mask, forcing ourselves to fit in, when really we have different opinions, ideas, visions, and hopes, but worry about speaking our truth or being our true self out of fear of rejection. Take it one step at a time and start to show more of the real you. When you do, you will soon see how loved you are and how much your unique self is needed.
After all, your true tribe can’t show up until you do.
Fear of the Unknown
Sometimes we worry about the future and what is yet to be certain. We fill the gap between where we are and where we want to be with worry, fear, and anxious emotions. But when we fall into worry, we stay stuck and trapped by the illusion of separation that fear loves to grip us in. Remember that we get what we focus on. So if you are focusing on what you don’t want, chances are you will get more of it. Take the time, in between where you are and where you want to be, to really focus on what you want. What kind of life do you want to live? Who do you want to be?
Unhealed and Unprocessed Emotions
Some of the other main fears that block us are our own insecurities and persecutions. We feel like we aren’t good enough, and most often this stems from an unhealed emotion or child wound. Something happened in our past that created a false narrative, a belief that shaped our reality. From this traumatic moment, we started acting from a place of protection. A need to feel safe in an unsafe world. But this is a limitation that can prevent us from moving forward. Recognize where you are behaving and acting from a place of woundedness vs. wholeness. Align yourself with your love and light and your truth.
Choose to act from a place of wholeness
vs. woundedness.
The Collective Consciousness
I haven’t really talked about this before, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Have you ever thought about humanity as a whole? For example, our shared perspectives, beliefs, worries and fears? We all have a connection to each other through our own humanity and shared focus. My friend Josh Trent reminded me that the collective consciousness plays one of the largest unseen roles in our life.
What no one really talks about is the spiritual and emotional aspects of what holds us back and our shared emotional state is what connects many of us to one another. It is the unseen forces that push against us every single day. If this is the case then the collective consciousness is one of the biggest influences in our life. It is the set of shared beliefs, ideas and moral attitudes that operate as a unifying force within society. What would you think the shared collective consciousness is right now on planet earth? Fear! Yep you nailed it.
Fear is at an all-time high and many of us are in an internal state of panic. We wonder why we feel so anxious and a lot of it isn’t even our own energy. But as a collective group, society is functioning from a place of extreme worry and fear. And fear can paralyze us. Fear prevents us from taking guided action, it blocks us from feeling and trusting our intuition, and it keeps us locked into low vibrations. So your job as a light on the planet is to see your fear, then actively choose to move past it by taking loving, guided action. One step at a time, we can all choose to turn our attention away from what is sucking us dry.
Daily Consumption
A great place to start is to look at if what you are consuming, is consuming you? News and the media have a specific focus and often report on fear-based situations. This will breed more fear, and fear is a disease within itself. Instead of falling victim to the worry cycle, turn your attention away from the fear pushing programs, and choose to see the love in the world. Choosing to focus on love, community, your own personal growth and self-love practice will serve you well at this time. You can regain your power and feel more purposeful by giving of your time, money and energy to what you care about. This includes personal projects and community focus. Choose to be of service with love.
One who is connected to their true self is more powerful than millions who are not.
Turn your attention away from the collective low vibration and be the light, bring the light, share your light. This in itself can help to transform the world.
Ancestral Patterns
Another thing that blocks us that no one really addresses is patterns from our family history, our lineage, DNA and our ancestors. Sometimes habits, patterns, thought perspectives and beliefs are carried through and passed down from one generation to the next. The Akashic records hold vibrations of all human events, thoughts, words, emotions, and intent ever to have occurred in the past, present or future. And sometimes it can be difficult to know if your past is affecting your present and therefore shaping your future. You can recognize when you are acting from a place of ancestors’ patterns when you have no grasp or control of where your patterns or emotions come from. You may feel like it isn’t your pain, but you are acting on autopilot. You can get an Akashic record reading to help or simply do meditation.
Our Own Spiritual Lessons
Although there are a lot of things that can hold us back, one of the main things to remember is you are on your own personal growth journey and you have your own spiritual and life lessons to learn. Your lessons are very unique to your soul and your experience of life will reflect this.
Overall, when you make self-love a priority and commit to personal growth and self-awareness, you begin to shift yourself into a place of more compassion and love. With this love, you can help move through troubling situations with more grace and ease.
This topic inspired by my book Joy Seeker: Let Go of What’s Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Were Made For —if you want to go deeper, grab a copy here.
Today’s topic inspired by my Joy Seeker podcast interview with Josh Trent of Wellness Force.
Josh and I talk about expectations, and how you can discover how you can create the life you actually want to live; not the one that society or your parents have deemed for you. He shares his personal story to finding true love and the courage needed to live a fulfilling life.
Josh Trent is the Founder of Wellness Force Media and host of the top-ranked iTunes podcast, Wellness Force Radio. Josh has spent the past 17 years as a researcher, trainer, and facilitator discovering the physical and emotional intelligence for humans to thrive in our modern world.
In 2019 Josh became the CEO of Civilized Caveman, helping women and men live better through practical tools for wellness, personal development, and paleo-friendly recipes.
Grab his M21 Guide Here
