The Attitude Adjustment That Will Get Your Happy Back

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I need to out myself: For the past few months, I admit I was unhappy.

Maybe that would be a normal statement for most people, but I have made a living from teaching others how to be happy.  I wrote a best selling book on how to Find Your Happy, but when close friends told me, “You look so happy,” I cringed. Sure I overcame depression, drug addictions and I found the courage to leave a job in corporate that was sucking the life out of me, but four years later, and after working hard on my dreams of being my own boss and sharing my message with others, something still felt off.

I asked myself, “Why can I teach people how to be happy, but not feel really happy myself?” The answer came like a booming inner roar; it was my inner voice, that said, “You aren’t allowing yourself to be happy!” All of a sudden a huge weight lifted from my presence, and I saw that the only thing keeping me from being happy was my own unwillingness to feel it fully.

My pattern of not allowing love and happiness in my life was a residual habit left over from my days of depression. I suspect that I am not alone though; for many of us, we are so use to trying to get happy, that we miss it when it arrives. The truth is that if we stopped trying to be happy, we could access the happiness already within us. We could see that we are naturally happy; and that it is part of experiencing and living life fully.

I turned my own crappiness into happiness by allowing myself to be present in each moment.

I found that it is the chase for happiness that keeps us in this thirsty quest – pining, wanting, and craving happiness, but suffocating in our own depression is our drug of choice. It is easier to admit we are sad, miserable or reaching for something we don’t’ yet have, than to admit we have arrived! Admitting we are happy means we’ve done it. We’ve reached our goal. When we allow ourselves to be happy, then what? Is life over? Does it go downhill from there? Once we reach what we work so hard to get, then what?

As long as we are more loyal to our shortcomings,  our happiness can never be fully actualized. Break up with your pain! It’s time.

The terrific tweetable truth: Identifying with our pain and suffering keeps us playing small.

I asked myself these questions and they transformed my energy. I now find peace in every moment and I genuinely feel the happy in each moment.

What are you willing to let go of?

What is in your life that is no longer serving you?

What thought patterns and habits do you keep falling into?

Release them! It is time.

Are you giving yourself credit for all the awesomeness you are doing?

Be proud of how far you’ve come, because you are doing amazing work.

If you have a hard time accepting your awesomeness and owning your happiness, these three steps can help.

Own Your Worth

The radiant joy and abundance that comes from being happy with where you are right now, and living with no apologies, takes massive courage; it takes guts, it takes moxy and mojo! When we peel back the layers and get really honest with ourselves, it takes an acute focus to access our own worth! Denying happiness is pushing away the basic right we have to live fully in your own life. Many of us are in a place where we are not fully living, because we do not feel worthy. To declare you are happy means you are saying you are worthy of your desires, and you are worth it!

Free Your Feelings

Saying you are happy, or trying to be happy and actually ALLOWING happiness to come to you are very different animals. Allowing yourself to feel the immense love and light that comes with being happy is a giant gift that you deserve. Your happiness is not outside of you. It is right there with you, right now! Put your hand on your heart, right now.  Feel that; that is purpose, that is love, that is happiness. ALLOW yourself to feel it. It is yours to access daily.

You Are Responsible for You

Telling someone who feels sad, to cheer up because other people have it worse is like telling a happy person to be sad because other people are happier. Focusing your efforts on trying to make everyone around you happy will not allow you to feel fully engaged with your own life, and it can prevent you from accessing lasting happiness. This is why so many of us walk around trying to do more, to fill that void inside. I have spent the past few years trying to uplift everyone else, building a brand based on making others happy, but I failed to actually put myself into my own life. Once I started to put my needs first everything changed. I got a book deal, I lost weight, my business grew and I moved to my favorite place, Hawaii. We can’t save or change anyone; but we can save ourselves and choose happy. Happiness is dependent on you and only you. If there is something in your life you are unhappy with, you have the power to change it, or at least change your mind about it.

Join with me and let’s release our attachment to pain and suffering. Let’s step fully into happy and feel it fully. It is a feeling that we can free us when we allow it to happen.

I would love to hear what you are willing to let go of in the comments below.

Photo Via Daisy Janssen