As featured on Mind Body Green
Do you feel like you are working really hard to make things happen? Are you frustrated with your lack of results, despite your hard effort? That was me a few weeks ago. I was pushing really hard to try to make things happen, but nothing was flowing, so I stopped trying.
Instead of focusing on what wasn’t working, I turned my attention to gratitude and moved my focus to what was going well.
All of sudden my career ramped up! The shift? Instead of trying to control my outcome, I let the universe guide me; I chose to be happy with where I was instead of worrying about getting to where I thought wanted to be.
I learned from personal experience how valuable letting go can be. Here are seven tips from my book, Find Your Happy, to help you let go and enjoy life more.
1. Let go of past failures.
Are you cheating on your future with your past? Many people do this unknowingly as they stay stuck in the past. Whether a relationship didn’t work out, your job turned out to be a dud, or you mentally beat yourself up for mistakes in your past, learn to see the silver lining and recognize that failures are not at all bad. Everything is connected and your past has made you who you are today.
2. Let go of making excuses.
As a life coach, I work with many people who fall back on excuses when they get scared. It doesn’t mean that the things they’re avoiding aren’t important to them; it means their fear is bigger than their desire to achieve. Look at those areas in your life where you are making excuses; then go deeper and ask what you’re afraid of. Looking your fear in the eye will often overcome the excuses.
3. Let go of choosing to do nothing.
I work with many people who are paralyzed by fear. A situation in their life is causing them tremendous turmoil, but they choose to do nothing. It is the “deer in the headlights” syndrome. If you’re in a job you hate, a relationship that hurts your spirit, or you have a dream that you haven’t moved forward on, you could be feeling the affects of fear. Choosing to do nothing is common for many people. On your path to happiness, choosing to take even just one step will help move you in a healthier direction.
4. Let go of thinking there’s something wrong with you.
Every person on Earth is unique. Celebrating your unique self instead of focusing on your flaws will do wonders for your spirit. Many of us walk around in a numb state, thinking that there’s something inherently wrong with us; feeling guilty, like we did something wrong. The truth is that we are all born from love, and tapping into that love and light will help you feel more connected and joyful.
5. Let go of thinking your addiction is bad.
Society puts a lot of pressure on people with addictions. Through my book research and workshops, I have yet to meet a single person who doesn’t have some type of addiction. Addictions come in all shapes and sizes, though some are healthier than others. Many people have addictions or vices they turn to when they feel guilty.
Reframing how you look at your addictions can help provide more inner peace. Recognize that most addictions serve you in some way. Know too that addictions are not a defining characteristic in a person. Addictions will come and go, but looking at them as a “bad” thing will only amplify the situation and prevent you from healing.
6. Let go of thinking it matters.
We think it matters when we gain weight, when our ex is dating someone new, or our coworker gets a promotion before we do. Whatever is troubling you at this moment, recognize that this too shall pass. We tend to wrap our hopes into expectations, thinking we will get a happy ending. Focusing on the small things leaves us depressed, exhausted and numb. Instead of worrying about what you can’t control, ask yourself if it will really matter in a week, a month, five years from now? If a situation bothers you, a good rule of thumb is to repeat the mantra, “Accept what you can’t change, and change what you can’t accept.”
Last yerar I developed some kind of stomach condition which made it extremely hard to work because I work in Chilcare and the job is very physical…i saw a specialist who did a procedure on me caled E.R.C.P. and did not properly inform me of the possible side effects and unfortunately I eneded up with Pancreatitis which has stolen away my quality of life in many many ways and I am trying very hard to deal with my feelings of sadness and anger and trying to find my strength to feel positive and happy about my situation…I ahve tried being thankful for what I do have but unfortunately I have lost a lot of things that i really enjoyed like, food, movement singing dancing, doing the things I used to do with my family and friends, being romantic with my husband…I just feel ill most of the time and am on painkillers and Lorazapam…it feels like I have vey little options for feeling happy except maybe watching TV or playing vidoe games…I am supposed to be resting and be so careful about everything I do and eat it’s so frustrating…I have been out of the hospital since April 20th and have been ill since March of 2012. I feel like I am stuck in a dark place in my mind looking out and I used to be so strong I don’t know what is happening tp me…my family and friends tell me that i have to be patient and I am trying but feel like I am getting so tired of waiting for something good to happen…I have been off work since Oct.2012 and my boss is still waiting for me to return and I wish i could…well thats all i can share right now I wish i knew how tho let go and be happy in my situation any helpful comments would be helpful…I am having a terrible struggle with my mind to believe that my life will ever be normal again…thanks for listenig.
Hi Caroline, thank you for sharing your story. I know it seems really tough right now. I do coaching and can see ways to help you feel more balanced and clear if you are interested. http://www.playwiththeworld.com/home/coaching/
Hi Caroline,
Thank you so much for sharing your story, and I just want to let you know that you are not alone in this. My mother has been a pancreatic patient since I was 7 years old I am now 31. I have seen her go in and out of the hospital fo rmany years. Unlike your situation my mother got her condition from alcoholism. Im not sure if the severity is any different but I know alcohol messes with other organs as well. She has a had a procedure done and had some of her pancrease removed and intestines cut which have left her unable to vomit and often she is either constipated or has diarreah. For most of the duration of her condition she has been on several types of pain pills and a host of other medications as well. She was taking as many as 4 pain pills a day but by the grace of God, her determination to feel better, excercise and changes in her diet I can tell you that 24 years later she is taking no more than 2 pain pills a day and has alot more better days than bad ones. I encourage you to keep your faith in God first thru all of this because without him nothing is possible. Secondly doing extensive research on your condition and proper diet will help you to control some of the pain that you feel. certain seasonings would make my mom have a flare up and to the ER we would go. Start by walking daily or if you have a treadmil incorporate some exercise into your daily lifestlye. I know that each day you wake up you are going to feel different so just try when you can to exercise. Im not sure if you would be interested but I am enclosing her email address in this post. If you do decide to email her put something pertaining to pancreatitis in the subject line so she wont delete the message thinking it is spam. Your life is not over it is just drastically altered but with time patience faith and love you will get thru this. (theliacormier@yahoo.com) I hope you get this message and have a blessed day dear.