Simple Rules For Self-Love

Life is kind of like chapters of a book. We get to write our own script. And if we are willing, we can change our fate based on the choices we make today. If you don’t like the results or how your life has been going, you have the power to change it.

Over the past few months I’ve seen patterns present themselves to me. Habits that were cozy before, such as staying in relationships to long, sleeping with inappropriate men or turning to addictive substances have never really helped me, but I use to fall into these holes. These patterns just masked my pain and created an inner vortex of fear of over consumption. I recognized that none of those situations were serving me so I walked away, from all of them.

Ironic enough the universe keeps presenting situations to me, whether it’s an opportunity for a one-night stand or another binge sugar induced comma- I keep turning away. I am leaving my past behind me, with a clear focus on my future self. Although I’m not the same person I use to be, I am not quite the future person I’m striving to be either. It’s as if I am in self-improvement limbo.

I feel like a caterpillar that feels as if she is dying. Only to wake up and see that I have gorgeous wings. I am emerging into the me I really want to be. And this process is dirty, painful and irritating, but I believe and know that the outcome will be miraculous.

Even still, I can’t escape the process that I am in, of what was and what soon will be. I am alone, for the first time in my life, I am not leaning into a man or inviting him into my bed to feel loved. It’s a new phase of my life and although it’s unbearable it is mandatory.

I am diving in full force and going into the areas of my life that need the most healing. It’s time to feel my feelings. If I really want change, if I really want great big soul mate love I must first really love myself. It’s time to get to know me.

I walk over to the mirror I look into my own eyes, and age 31, I say out loud with a gentle smile, “nice to meet you.” Here I am finally navigating the uncharted territory of self-love and self care. What does this new world look like? It is nurturing, kind, expansive and free. I’m learning how to be comfortable with me, extra weight, past failures and all.

And in this transition I have a mandatory list that I live by everyday. Here are the rules for self-love.

1. I listen to my inner voice

2. I trust and know that everything is in right order

3. I only eat and drink foods that nourish my body and soul

4. I move my body and sweat everyday

5. I listen to my body

6. My self worth is not defined by the number on my scale

7. I don’t use anyone or anything to feel loved or numb my feelings

8. I remove myself from all negative, judgmental and condescending people

9. I do what I love everyday

10. I respect, care for, and honor my body, mind and spirit.

Consider making a mandatory self-love list for yourself. A rule list that you stick to as to say, “I am worth it, I do matter and I make a difference:”

It is a way to nurture your own spirit and do something for yourself. Your future self will thank you.

Photo : Be Well With Arielle