Do you have a goal you’ve been trying to reach for months, years, maybe even decades?
No matter what you do, you keep falling into old behaviors or fear takes over and change just won’t stick?
One of the most common questions I hear from my life-coaching clients is “How do I get unstuck?” or “How can I make healthy change stick?”
If you’re stuck in a situation that feels unhealthy, toxic or soul-sucking, but you can’t break free, this week’s message can help.
I share insights from my new buddy, Mastin Kipp, the founder of The Daily Love. He was in Portland for his book tour, Growing Into Grace, and he shared strategic steps you can take to get unstuck and make change stick.
If you are sick of feeling stuck, take these 3 actions steps now.
1. Free Your Feelings
Mastin talks about the value of feeling your feelings and allowing them to work through you. This topic is so critical to getting unstuck that I’ve dedicated an entire chapter to freeing your feelings in my upcoming book Adventures for the Soul (May 2015). There are tons of techniques to allow yourself to free your feelings, but first you must be willing to go into them. Allow yourself to feel. When you do this, you will free yourself from the past.
Most of us walk around as shells of our wounded past. An event happened (most often in our childhood) that made us feel alone, sad, unworthy, unloved or disrespected, and we carry this into our adult life unknowingly. Your brain tries to protect you by replaying the wounded story. What story are you telling yourself? I’m not worthy. I’m not where I want to be. I don’t deserve it. Be honest with yourself and allow yourself to go into the feelings. When you can free them, you release them and can move to step two.
2. Ask a Better Question
Are you whying all over yourself? Why did this happen? Why did this person do this to me? Why am I stuck? Why can’t I get and stay happy? Why don’t I know what I want? Why am I so broke? Why am I not where I think I should be?
Pay attention to your story and the questions you ask. As Mastin Kipp eloquently puts it, “To change a behavior and really move into grace, we must ask a better question. Turn your why into a how, or a what. What can I learn here? How can I be better or how can I be different? Why keeps us paralyzed and wrapped up in fear. The why allows us to play it safe and avoid true growth – the kind that requires personal responsibility and self-actualization. Give yourself permission to ask a better question. What question can you ask?
3. Take Action Immediately
The difference between good and great is nothing more than action. Everyone has inspiration. It’s what we do with it that matters. Mastin Kipp says people always come up to him and say, “You are so lucky,” to which he responds: It’s great you think that, but luck has nothing to do with it. “I worked my ass off for a decade to get to where I am.”
The thing about inspiration and ideas is most of us give up to soon. We crave instant results, which I talked about in last week’s blog post. And when we don’t see confirmation, we give up and quit. But to truly make change stick, you must keep take action. Jack Canfield talks about the momentum of action in Success Principals. He says not every action will work. You have to keep taking action and you will break through. Do it again and again, over and over. Keep going and watch how your life transforms.
The journey into your heart is one of grace and courage. By making these small subtle shifts, you will see the results you truly desire.
So your awesome opportunity this week is to answer these strategic questions:
1. What feelings do I need to feel?
2. What better question can I ask?
3. What action step can I take to shift my behavior?
Mastin and me.
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Photo http://visual-therapy.com/
