Should You Stay or Go? 3 Questions to Ask to Find Out

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Are you in a position where you are wondering if you should quit or commit? Do you feel paralyzed by choice? Should you stay or should you go?

When it’s time to make a choice such as leave the job you hate or leave a relationship that no longer feels good, we often go into analysis paralysis and overanalyze each direction.

What ends up happening is a debilitating outcome where we often emotionally shut down from fear and worry. To avoid this trap, I’ve identified three simple questions to ask yourself before you make any life change:

1. Does it feel expansive and joyful?

Ask yourself if staying feels joyful, or does moving on feel more expansive?

You want to leave a situation because it isn’t working for you anymore, but make sure the new option feels exciting and joy filled. When I first realized I wanted to leave my job in corporate advertising, I asked if leaving felt joyful and expansive. Even thought I didn’t know what I wanted to do at first, leaving the industry made me feel more joyful. So I left and explored new options. Let your joy-filled expansiveness guide you.

2. Am I running away from or to something?

When we run away from something, we will repeat the same patterns and mistakes. As Pema Chordon says, “We will repeat the lesson until we learn what we need to learn.” When we run away from situations we don’t like, we often make mistakes and fall back into old behaviors. When you focus on running to something you like instead of away from something you dislike, you will feel more empowered. When you run to something, things start happening faster. Ask yourself “What am I running to?” and let that guide you.

3. Is there unfinished business?

Before you make any life change, you want to ask yourself “Is there unfinished business?” The universe will always give you the lesson again and again until you get what there is to learn. When I first left corporate, I had unfinished business. I was angry at the industry. I had to forgive my old coworkers and the industry in order to step into my life purpose as a writer, life coach, and teacher. I started to appreciate all I had been through, and this meant I had no unfinished business.

The goal is to appreciate what you’ve been through, and when you can do that, you will feel more expansive and joy filled. You will have clarity and know which choice to make.

I can’t wait to hear from you. In the comments below, let me know which choice feels the most expansive and joy filled for you.