I use to think self-care meant being an A+ wellness warrior, which meant that each day I must ask myself: Did I drink my green juice? (check); Did I do my workout? (check); Did I count my calories? (check); etc. This way of life was exhausting, and I always felt like something was missing. I was trying so hard to control everything around me—my schedule, my body size, my habits, everything was neatly in a box—but my doctor diagnosed me with depression. I hated my job at the time, and I was silently suffering from drug addiction and body dysmorphia. Most of us have something we don’t like about our appearance—a crooked nose, an uneven smile, or eyes that are too large or too small. And though we may fret about our imperfections, they don’t interfere with our daily lives. But my insecurities were my obsession. Before I adopted a daily self-care routine, I couldn’t control my negative thoughts. My insecurities even interfered with my social life, as I started to avoid situations out of fear others would notice my flaws.
What kind of life is that?
As you can imagine, this wasn’t real self-care. Because “caring” for yourself is loving yourself. I started to look at what self-care meant to me, and when I was honest I realized I didn’t really like kale salad, I was sick of green juice, and I was burned out with yoga. Right now, we are living through one of the most turbulent times in all of human history. It can be hard to grasp for what feels real and right, but when you revise and rewrite your self-care routine, you can feel more balance and peace.
Self-care has nothing to do with what you do but with why you do it.
And the only reason we should do anything is that it makes us feel good. Because it brings us joy. Over the past few months, I’ve revisited my daily routine and asked joy to be my barometer for self-care. If it brings me joy, I will allow it and enjoy it fully. If it feels forced, I won’t do it. This means being okay with sleeping for more hours or disconnecting from social media, TV, and all fear-based news, without shame or guilt.
Self-care can be about what you eat, what you wear, where you live, what you watch, and consume, what you say, and what you think. It is all of you and how you relate to the world. Start showing up for you in new ways by being intentional about your self-care routine. Today my self-care routine is all about balance. I listen to my body—when it says it’s full, when it says it’s thirsty, when it says it’s tired, I honor its needs in every moment. In turn, by listening to my body and making body care part of my routine. It all comes back to love and taking loving action through self-care. One of the biggest shifts for me is discovering the power of meditation. I use to struggle with it but now I can’t go a day without it. And meditation is a tool we can all use to feel more present and centered which is why I created this new guided meditation album Fear Detox. You can stream or download here.
The reason I am talking about self-care right now is because our daily routines are extremely important. How you talk to yourself about yourself matters. Are you shaming yourself, or feeling like you should be somewhere else, further along, not in so much fear, frustration, angst or worry? The truth is we are moving through a time on earth that is unprecedented, shifts are happening all around us and we may feel off balance. Which is why your daily self-care and love routine is essential.
Today I pull together my top tips to help you connect back to your center and rewrite your self-care routine.
Listen to Your Body
Part of our body-care routine is about learning how to listen to it. I use to punish my body and override its needs with sugar, binge eating, or self-deprecating thoughts. All that had to change, so instead of hating myself, I began to listen to myself. I woke up each morning and said, “What does my body want? What does it need?”
Shift Your Thoughts to Love
We can make a conscious effort to refrain from negative self-talk and to practice kindness, right now this is key. Your mind is more powerful than you may realize. Think about what you’ve been saying about yourself and the situation you aspire to change. And then clean up those thoughts to a more compassionate dialogue. Self-love starts in the mind, and how you talk to yourself about yourself.
Remove All Judgment and Blame
Removing guilt and shame from anything you do is important, and you can do this by allowing yourself to be who you really are. I am a person who loves ice cream. Today I can eat it without guilt because I no longer deny myself things I love. There was a time when I couldn’t have ice cream in the house because I would eat the entire container. I use to buy pints and eat half of it, then put dishwashing soup on the rest of it so I wouldn’t eat it all, then I’d wash it down the drain. I did this as I flogged myself for eating ice cream in the first place. Today my relationship with food is much more balanced. I can keep ice cream in the freezer because I love myself, and I now eat a bite or two then feel satisfied. I have strengthened all areas of my life by using self-compassion. What was once a turbulent relationship, mine with food, has transformed because I invited more love into the equation.
You see it is all love. We are either in the absence of what we want or the presence of it. And when you allow yourself to have desires and you give in to them, this is an act of self-love.
Add Meditation into Your Daily Routine
We can maximize our time right now, especially in such uncertainty and chaos by meditating. Meditation is one of the best tools to help us through this crazy time because it helps balance us and focused our attention to the present. Having a daily routine is important, but what you put in the daily routine matters. Does your daily routine consist of self-love, self-care, personal growth, health and mindfulness practices? Having a holistic balance to your day is how we can keep fear away.
We may not have control over many things right now, but we can control our own experience in each moment. If there ever was a time the world needed more connection (to ourselves and others) then this has got to be it! This is why I created this brand new program Fear Detox to help you connect to calm and stay centered, no matter what is happening around you and out in the world.
You’re invited to take the 5-Day Fear Detox: a Fast Track to Unshakable Inner Peace
This exclusive 5-Day Fear Detox digital course will help you clear fear and step into more peace and presence.
YOUR INVESTMENT INCLUDES:
- Over 8 hours of training videos, content and new tools to help you connect to calm
- 5 daily mantras and affirmations
- Daily intentions and journal questions
- 5 brand new morning guided meditations
- 5 video trainings
- 5 workshops/lectures
- 5 brand new evening guided meditations
