Permission to Be You

I’ve been called too nice, too bossy, too ugly, too messy, too in a hurry, too impatient, too neurotic, too sensitive, too positive, too fat, and too much of a dreamer. When others lashed out with their words, it often hurt.

I grew up believing there was something wrong with me because I was too odd, different, even weird, mainly for doing what I wanted to do. Which, as a little girl, I loved to draw picture of animals and write poetry. Most kids were socializing and flirting on the playground, but I found sanctuary in my journal. I would rest atop the monkey bars, gazing out into the horizon, pondering the magnificent beauties of earth. Yes, I was that kid. And I was made fun of every day for being me.

Most of us have a moment in our life when we remember doing what we loved, and when we were true to our own nature, others reacted negatively. Maybe you were made fun of, maybe your parents told you to stop because you were embarrassing them, or maybe you felt insecure because you shared too much of your opinion. The result: we hide out in the shadows of our possibilities and potential. It feels safer to fit in and sacrifice our true self. We learn at a very young age how to be part of the group. When we deviate it causes ripples.

The other day a mother asked me how can we raise our children to be the best they can be? I responded by saying, “Allow them to be who they are. Encourage their curiosity, but also do this for yourself. Put your dreams into focus by allowing yourself to be who you really are too.” When we are true to ourselves we are inspired and happy, and when we are in this place of authentic joy, we can’t help but lift up those around us.

Following our heart isn’t something we do often because past experience has shown us that others may react. That’s the thing about following your heart—it reflects in others what they are scared of most. Breaking away, choosing self-love, focusing on their desires. This is not something we are taught. We adapt by fitting in, but perhaps we would all be a lot happier if we chose to follow our hearts and do what we really want. This is what authenticity is. Being true to yourself and the dreams that live within.

Instead of fitting to the world, what if we honor the rhymes of our own soul, and invite the world to fit to us?

You see, there are always going to be people, society, culture telling you that you are too something, but you don’t have to take that on as your truth. Don’t let what other people say about you prevent you from moving forward with your dream.

As I grew into a self-love practice, I discovered something radically new. I don’t have to take on others’ beliefs about me. If someone calls me a name, I see it is just a reflection from his or her point of view.

Most of us stop dreaming; we lose the space between our inner child and the adult demands because we listen to the world, the people telling us we are too….X, Y, Z. Meanwhile, our dreams rest confidently on the other side of these judgments. Listening to what others say about us is often what keeps us from being happy.

The turning point for me was when I stopped worrying about what others thought and focused on how I thought. Instead of focusing on how my life looked, I turned inward to focus on how it felt.

When I felt good about myself, it didn’t matter what others said about me or to me. Their comments would bounce right off. We get to choose how we want to live our life, and living your dreams starts by disengaging with what other people think, say, or do. Your full-time mission should be to align with your truth. When you do this, you not only lift up yourself, but you lift up everyone around you.

We get what we focus on.

Why not rewrite your script? I’d like to be called kind, funny, healthy, fit, smart, beautiful, sincere, authentic, happy, and inspiring. And I have been called these. We get what we focus on. We get to choose. Do we focus on the negative or the positive? Rise up and focus on the goodness within you.

If you want more support you have to support yourself.

My friend Gabby Bernstein says, “If you want more support in being your true self, you have to support yourself emotionally,” and you do this by allowing yourself to be who you really are.

The more me I am, the happier and more successful and connected I feel.

So for today, be more of you.

People still call me too ugly, fat, messy, etc., but I don’t take any of it in. Honestly, it sounds like a foreign language. to me. I can’t hear it because it doesn’t resonate. I am comfortable with me and love who I am. I don’t  give it any attention, so the negative comments go away. I only create and hold space for the positive.

Commit to the positive parts of you.

The truth is, we are not what people say. We are not any of these characteristics. You are so much more than a label and what people say you are. Let yourself be who you really are. And you get to choose who you want to be, so for today wrap your gorgeous arms around yourself and declare, “I get to be me.”

This article was inspired by Danielle Laporte’s Facebook Post on “Being too X, Y, Z.”

Craving more resources check out my book Adventures for Your Soul.