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“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.” —Victoria Holt’s
Many people walk around holding onto feelings of anguish, worry, and doubt. These feelings are by products of the ever-charged regret. Regret comes from many sources, whether it is a situation that you wish did not happen or something you wish you would have said or done, or even a relationship that you wish you could wipe
out of your mind.
Regret is a byproduct of fear and remorse and it doesn’t belong in the Play with the World lifestyle. When you choose to be present in your life, focusing on the moment and creating your dreams, regret does not exist because regret is really only experience.
Not all of life’s experiences can be good. When they are good, they are great, and it makes sense to enjoy every moment of the highs, but when things happen that we are not comfortable with or wish would have turned out another way, rather than feeling regret, take the opportunity to learn from them. All experiences are lessons; whether they are good or bad, lessons make us grow and teach us more about the world, others and ourselves.
The thing about regret is it keeps us in a static state. It’s a backward looking, unpleasant feeling. You blame yourself, and wish you could undo the past. Regrets love to make us feel bad.
To break free from this we just need to recognize that regret = opportunity to learn. Learning is exciting and it helps us grow. So all situations in life turn into lessons. It is up to us to choose whether we perceive a situation with love or fear.
If you are feeling the pain of regret, consider these simple reminders.
1. There are no mistakes
Regret exists because it is useful. When we feel regret because we feel guilty and embarrassed by what we have done, we are motivated to undo the wrongful things we did and make better, more careful decisions in the future. Regret is unavoidable because there are opportunity costs for every choice made. When you select a path, you immediately forfeit other choices and their benefits. By learning to let go of the lack, we can see that there are no wrong choices.
2. Replace judgment with curiosity
Life on earth is like being in a big classroom. We have lessons of love or hate, of compassion and kindness. When we stay in regret we choose not to do the homework. We do not have an opportunity to pass the course because we are not doing the work. When we do the work, we grow and learn more. Then we progress to the next course. The next lesson awaits, So look at where you are judging yourself or others and replace it with curiosity. Ask yourself what can I learn here?
3. Ask, where do I have unfinished business?
Learning to let go of the past is a powerful way to relax into your life. You can do this by looking at all areas of your life that are incomplete or unfinished. The reason we have regrets is because we often feel incomplete with a person or situation. Clean up all the incomplete things in your life and the regrets will go down.
I regret coming to Poland and I regret not studying acting early in my life. I had to make peace with my past and not lose hope that I will soon leave Poland and move on to better things. I am still trying to hold on to the fact that I will leave this horrible place.
Thank you for the post.
Great information Shannon, I so agree with all of the above and and I am continually growing and becoming wiser.
Thanks.
I like and like (play with world)no regret’s pain but learning and experiencing(goodddddddd)
How do I clean up regret when I feel incomplete ‘with a person’. Time has helped, but sometimes it creeps back up!