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I was talking to a friend last week about her goals, and she said something that resonated with me. “I know what I should be doing, but I am just not doing it. And I don’t know why.” As she was talking, I realized how many times in my own life I felt the same way.

Do you have a goal, but there seems to be an invisible force keeping you from taking action or working toward it? It isn’t a lack of motivation or a clear desire. You know what you want. Maybe you want to become successful in a new career, lose weight, have more money or find true love, and you know the steps to take but you just aren’t doing them.

You aren’t alone.

More than 100 million people (in America) are dissatisfied with their lives right now. That’s more than one-third of the population. The majority of my coaching clients come to me because they are stuck in life.

When you feel stuck or bored with life, it is because a core human desire, a deep need, is not being met. The need to grow. When we aren’t growing, learning or challenging ourselves, we become stuck. This looks like methodical daily routine, habits that don’t’ serve us, like over sleeping, over-eating, over-spending, avoiding the exact thing it is we know we want.

For example, let’s say you want to write a book and you quit your job so you can focus on your new career. But a couple days, weeks, maybe months go by and you haven’t progressed on your manuscript. Why do we do this to ourselves?

It isn’t because of a lack of motivation or self-discipline. It comes back to your negotiations and what you have said to yourself about the situation.

We have an internal dialog that will do its best to keep things steady. What this means is change = scary.

Most of us, when we peel back the layers of our desires, will see the thing we want more than anything else is actually something we are terrified of receiving. How might life look if you are actually rich, hot and successful? That’s something you haven’t really experienced, so it is scary.

The good news is this process can be reversed. And it is easier than you may think.Think about that number one goal that you want and follow these steps to make it a reality.

Fake It Until You Are It

We’ve spent the majority of our life without the goal we want, so to get it actually means we would be living in ways so foreign or far-reaching, fear sets in and blocks us.

You want desperately to find true love, have a perfect body, to never have to worry about money again. But despite your best efforts, you keep falling into habits that prevent you from moving to your goal. This happens because you have trained yourself to settle. You know how to live your life without that goal. You have mastered life on the other side of that desire. The lack is your norm.

To reverse this, you must behave your way to success. Instead of focusing on lack, physically take action to move through the fear. You must force yourself to do something different to see new results. This means forcing yourself to go to the gym, to write 2,000 words a day, to go out and start dating again. It might not be what you want to hear, but when you take physical action, your confidence increases. The more confidence you have, the more you value yourself and the faster your goal will be realized.

Hug Your I’m-Not-Good-Enough Self

Let’s be honest. We all have an I’m-not-good-enough part of us. This is the inner voice that hides deep behind our self-sabotaging behaviors. It believes you aren’t worthy, pretty enough, smart enough, healthy enough, rich enough, good enough to get what you really want. And furthermore, if you actually achieve what it is you really want, that giant book deal, perfect body, a happily ever after with your one true love, then you risk being seen.

This fear-based voice tricks you into thinking if you are true to yourself, you will be found out and people will see you are a fraud. You will be exposed. Well, tell your fear the gig is up. All you need to do is address your insecurities, instead of running from them, by sending them love and taking action through them.

We actually protect ourselves from the pain of criticism, rejection and failure by playing small and avoiding success.

Enjoy the Ride

We spend a lot of time feeling like we aren’t where we are supposed to be. That goal you are working toward is great, but if you aren’t enjoying yourself now or appreciating where you are in this moment, reaching the goal will feel strained.

It really comes back to self-love and acceptance. Most of us want those goals because we think we will be happier when we get them. But if you aren’t happy now, then that goal won’t save you. Your situation won’t actually change much. Instead of putting all your expectations into your goal, find ways to be more appreciative of yourself in the moment. One of my all-time favorites quotes sums this up best: “Enjoy the journey, there is no destination,” Leo Tzao.

I’d love to hear from you. What part of your journey can you celebrate? What are you most thankful for now?