How to effectively raise your standards so you can get your needs met

For years, I was okay if those around me were okay. I felt better when people in my life were tended to. I was the go-to for advice, help, and support. I didn’t know how to say no, and had no idea what a boundary was or that I was a people-pleaser. But the truth is, I was an over-giving and was doing it from a fear of not being accepted and loved. At the time I didn’t make the connection that my unmet childhood needs were fueling my unhealthy, imbalanced relationships as an adult. I tied my worth to what I could give, or how I could help, save or fix. You can imagine, this got me into a lot of unhealthy relationships, where I was giving a lot, to takers, users, and intentional abusers.

But what did decades of being there for everyone else, and ignoring my own needs get me…

Exhaustion, fibromyalgia, a stream of narcissistic relationships, and fake friends (frenemies) who were only in my life because of what they could take from me, never interested in wanting what was best for me.

It wasn’t until I said enough is enough! I matter, and I will not be walked all over ever again.

What was the shift, you may ask? I raised my standards! When I did, my relationships became healthier, and I discovered a deeper sense of self-love and worth.

What I was missing, was boundaries and self-respect. What I needed was higher standards for myself and those in my life.

• Are you in relationships where your needs are not honored?
• Do you feel resentful after giving and helping others because they don’t reciprocate or appreciate your efforts?
• Do you say yes, when you want to say no?
• Are you only okay, when those around you are good?
• Have you though, enough is enough in your mind, but were not sure how to act on it?

If so, take a look at your standards. Your standards are what you allow to happen or continue in life. What you’ll accept, and what you won’t. Think about whether your current life situations are helping or hindering your mental, physical, and emotional well-being.

Your life is a direct reflection of the standards you hold—both for yourself and for others.

As a mindset and empowerment coach, I’ve noticed that many of the people I work with start to raise their standards through our coaching process, because they learn how to feel more self-love and respect themselves. And when you raise your standards, you are happier and healthier. It is easier to feel safe and honored because you are first doing this for yourself. The most beautiful thing happens, you no longer tolerate mistreatment, disrespect or inconsistent people. The outcome of raising your standards…you love yourself too much to allow dysfunction to take your time, money and energy. You reclaim your own power.

If you are ready to up-level in your life, watch this week’s resource here. I share a powerful process to help you raise your standards and set clear boundaries.

WATCH HERE

If you’re being treated unfairly at work, in relationships, or with family members, you will love this process. Raising your standards means learning when to speak up, defend your point of view, and be honest with other people about your wants and needs. It means knowing when to say that enough is enough.