How to Be Happy When Everyone Else’s Life Looks Perfect

I woke up from a peaceful night’s slumber, I hit snooze on my cell phone, then without much thought picked up my phone and started to scroll social media. Within seconds of being awake, I felt my stomach turn, my teeth clench and my chest tighten; I had been stung by envy. I fell quickly into the deep dark comparison hole. I saw friends showcase their best life, perfectly organized masterminds, just the right light and angled videos of them doing what they love.

I hadn’t even brushed my teeth let alone wiped the grog from my eyes and I was feeling like a worthless piece of person. There I was smack-dab in the middle of another episode of the comparisons trap.

I’ve been scooting along in my life, feeling pretty good. Joy has been a constant. I practice being mindful, present and I’m grateful. I surround myself with uplifting people who support and love me for who I am, yet the social media envy had swept in to take all of the goodness away.

Envy, judgment, comparison, jealousy, it’s all part of the same family, FEAR. And it is the number one thing holding us back from living a more peaceful life. Fear will do everything it can to keep us from connecting to our truth, the part of us that knows we are good enough, smart enough, beautiful and important. Remind yourself thisis who you are. You are not the feelings of unworthiness or insignificance.

We live in an age of envy. The rise of social media has amplified it. But guess what, those same people we compare ourselves to, who have the perfect life on social media — you know the ones that always know the right thing to say and they have perfect bouncy hair and flawless skin — yes they to fall into comparison too. Because it’s part of every human. Those people your ego convinces you are better off than you, or happier or healthier, etc., they too cycle through moments of not feeling good enough, because that is what earth is all about. To learn the truth and be love.

Living life is about the moments of contrast

and the paved streets of happiness loaded with despair. It is part of being human to cycle in and out of happiness. The problem is we think we need to be happy all the time, and then when we aren’t, we feel like we’ve messed up, that we are broken or somehow not as good as those people flaunting their perfect lives. The thing we forget about happiness and living a fulfilled life is, we will dip.

The dip is in the moments we fall back into old behavior. The dip is the pattern from the past replaying in the present. It happens during the times we are cruising and suddenly without much warning, something triggers us, and our mind spirals into the dark negative emotions that were present before.

You are your own journey.

If you are on a personal growth path (and who isn’t if you are human, you are here to grow), then know that your path does not look like anyone else’s. You are your own journey. Comparing yourself to others only keeps you stuck in fear. But thinking you won’t fall into comparisons is keeping you stuck. And that is what fear wants, to keep you paralyzed so it can continue to rule.

But your true self, the love and light within you, knows that you are powerful beyond measure.

The true you wants to be seen, heard and loved for who you really are. And the only way to do this is to allow yourself to be where you are instead of where you think you should be.

When we think we are off track and behind, we fail to see how perfect things are, as they are. We forget gratitude and flounder in a darkfesterof negative thoughts.

Instead of living your life from the outside in, looking to the world to make you feel good enough, choose to be aligned with your true self by loving yourself. Instead of looking outside of yourself for answers, learn to listen to the voice within. Instead of needing approval from others, approve of yourself.

There are powerful ways you can connect to your true self, but it starts by you first being more kind and compassionate with yourself.

Here are six reminders you are exactly where you are supposed to be, especially when you feel insignificant.

1. Everyone is on his or her own journey. We never know what is truly going on behind closed doors. Just do you.
2. The fastest way to feel better is to be where you are instead of where you think you should be, release your expectations and trust the unfolding.
3. There is no place to get to. The belief that happiness will come when you get the thing you want is an illusion. If you don’t feel good on the way there, you will never get there.
4. Where you are is not who you are.
5. You are not falling behind. It’s your own life, which means your own path, your own plan, your own timeline.
6. Stop looking outside of yourself for answers.

The next time you find yourself spinning out of control in the envy trap, consider that jealousy is a light pointing you in a direction you want. Glennon Doyle said,

“We’re only envious of those already doing what we are made to do. Envy is a giant flashing arrow pointing us toward our destiny.”

The turning point for me was when I started to look at the people who I was jealous of and see they were showing me what is possible. I replaced my jealousy with appreciation by honoring them on their path. I energetically thanked them for being a light to shine on my path forward. And yes, I am human so I still dip, and when I do, I remind myself we are all humans on this cosmic journey learning how to love ourselves and each other one lesson at a time. I show up for this lesson and say, I see you jealousy. I no longer identify with you. I release you.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments how comparison has blocked you and how you overcame it.

Also, check out this video on how to stop jealousy from stealing your joy.