Feeling Hopeless & Lost? 5 Ridiculously Easy Habits to Adopt ASAP

As a mindset coach I get asked often, how do you navigate uncertain times? What small shifts can we do today to feel better tomorrow?

To be honest, the past few years have been some of the toughest for many of us to endure. We can’t ignore the fact that we have collectively all lived through a global trauma that has forever changed the course of our lives and psyches. Who we were before is not who we can be moving forward. The world is different. We are still finding our footing and trying to accept and understand these new ways of being. With so much rapid change outside of us, it is only fair to look at what changes are happening within our own selves.

The inner self is needing us now more than ever. We are being asked to change. Should we accept this invitation, we can transition more smoothly, things will feel a little bit easier, grace can come in and make a softer landing for us, and the sweetness of life will soon return. But it can be hard to navigate uncertainty, when we are trapped in our own thoughts and limitations.

Can you relate to any of these?

• Do you feel lost and confused?
• Do you feel pushed out, rejected, turned down, unseen, and ignored?
• Do you feel out of sorts? It’s like you can’t find your footing, and nothing seems to be working, no matter how hard you try?
• Are you wondering why what used to work for you doesn’t anymore?
• Are you sick of trying and lack motivation, mainly because you feel everything you’ve tried feels like a failure or puts you further off track?
• Does what you want not want you?
• Are you overwhelmed with life in general and wondering when you will get a break?
• Have you tried for something, but it didn’t turn out as expected, and now you’re feeling even more confused and alone, and your biggest fears seem to be coming true?

If you relate . . . you’re not alone. Welcome to the collective spiritual awakening, aka a massive ego death.

Collectively on planet Earth, we are all going through a massive transition phase. We are moving from old, outdated structures, patterns, beliefs and ways of doing things that no longer serve, to ascend to a higher vibration. We can resist this evolution, but Earth and humanity are always changing, and where there is change, there is growth.

If you feel lost, uncertain, pushed out and forced to make changes you didn’t anticipate coming, you are most likely also experiencing an ego death.

What is ego death?

Ego death is the (often instantaneous) realization that you are not truly the things you’ve identified with, and the “ego” or sense of self you’ve created in your mind is a fabrication. In some instances, it can offer a profound feeling of freedom and connectedness with all that is, as the walls of separation the ego has created come crumbling down, and we feel almost like a death within us is occurring. And in a sense, it is.

In some cases, and especially if your ego resists this “death,” the experience can be very scary and result in a sense of detachment or disassociation. Often a complete loss of subjective self-identity occurs, causing depression, anxiety, and fear—but the more in touch one is with their spiritual core, the easier the awakening will be.

Ultimately, ego deaths are not a casual experience but, oh me, are they quite the opposite. It changes the course of your life entirely. But the good news, when we emerge on the other side, having released all the things we’ve identified with, our true self and spirit is left, and you can begin to live from a place of pure love. Life becomes a bit easier, and you realize you are not off track, and you were never behind. You were just being redirected to your path of highest alignment.

Stages you may go through*

1. The spiritual awakening: The first stage of ego death is the initial moment of awakening in which you wake up from the ego’s power over you.
2. The dark night of the soul: As you navigate your newfound understanding, you begin to question everything and realize things are not as they seem or as we’ve been taught. This can feel like a complete loss of identity. The space in between can feel like a death, and it is, energetically.
3. Exploration & curiosity: In this stage, you begin to explore more and fill the void with things that are in line with your soul or highest self. It’s important to note that although ego death seems like a killing of the ego, what happens is a loss of being subjected to its “power” over you. As your ego dies off, you start to live from a place of more love and light. Note we don’t lose our ego—we just shift our place of power, giving it less gravitas and control in our life.
4. Soul growth & enlightenment: As the dust settles and you soften into your new way of being, you realize more about your true nature and live in a higher vibrational state. You have cleared many of your old patterns and are now embodying a much lighter and  simpler, more purified divine you.

Experiencing ego death is life-changing, intense, and sometimes terrifying, but it can also lead us to our soul’s truest path and allow us to live a life in harmony with our deepest truth. So, whether you’re in the throes of your own ego death right now, or are just feeling a little bit off in life, there is no need to worry—the real you is emerging.

To help you navigate this challenging phase of life, here are my foolproof easy habits to adopt ASAP to support you in feeling better now.

1. Stabilize with Self-Love and Care

Right now, is not the best time to fall into addictions, old habits, negative thought patterns, or escapism. If you do, be gentle with yourself and work to consciously bring in more self-compassion, care and love. As you do this, you shift your attention away from escaping to creating. Buckle down on taking care of you, which creates a new foundation for your mental, emotional, and physical health. Your health routine and self-care habits should be your number one priority.

I know when I am overwhelmed with anxiety, or depression tries to sneak back in, the first thing I do is go to a radical self-care routine. For me, it includes breathwork, meditation, sometimes two or three baths a day, spiritual and personal development podcasts, audiobooks or YouTube videos, always some form of physical activity such as yoga, boxing, cycling, etc., nature time, rest, and cuddling sessions with Chance. Focusing on a daily self-care routine will help to calm your central nervous system and help you stay present in the moment. What would your daily self-love and self-care routine look like? When do you feel like your best self? Start to implement this immediately.

2. Curb Criticism

It’s necessary to pay attention to your thoughts. Are you identifying with them and believing them to be true? We are not every thought that we think, but our ego is going to convince you that it is. Make sure you keep these in check by realizing it’s your inner critic, not the real you. Your inner meanie will say some nasty things to you about where you are in life, about how off track you are—basically all your deepest fears will be outed and glaring in your face.

Realize these are fears, they are not reality.

3. Address Your Biggest Fears

Right now, most of us are experiencing a lot of fear, and the things that we have been running from, or tried to push under the rug, are coming to the surface. Because we cannot collectively ascend into a higher vibration, if we are lying, deceiving, or betraying ourselves or each other. We will be afraid, and diving into them vs. resisting will help us clear them. Start to get clear about what your biggest fear is and what your mind is telling you about the fear. Observe the stories you tell yourself about your fear. Are you afraid of losing what you have? Are you worried about not getting what you want? Do you fear what others will say, or think? Get honest, what is your deepest fear.

For example, about a year ago, I felt with every fiber of my body that I needed to move to Mexico. I felt the guidance in my soul to sell all my furniture and get a clean slate. I followed through and I left America and became a temporary citizen of a Mexico. I was so happy to live in a place that I really wanted to live, yet as beautiful as it was, all my biggest fears came to the surface: rejection, abandonment, not being good enough, feeling helpless to ultimately realizing that I was tying my worth to what I could give, or how I could help or save others. The fears were coming up because I was going through an ego death. I realized that my worth is not tied to anything outside of myself.

Everything was falling apart so I could recognize this deep-seated fear that had been subconsciously making choices for me since my childhood. I felt forced to leave Mexico under an emergency, and if I had not already gone through an ego death, my mind would have been saying, you failed, you proved everyone right, you can’t make it on your own, you are worthless, etc. But none of these thoughts ever crossed my mind. I had addressed my fear and saw it all as illusions.

Instead, I thought to myself, how amazing, that I followed my heart and inner guide to move to another country. “What a magnificent experience that was, but It’s run it’s course. This dream and experience has an expiration date, and I will honor it. It’s time for me to move elsewhere. I have a chance to start new and be reborn so to speak.”

Ask yourself: What  are I holding on to that has expired? What do I want now? Life ahead is full of possibilities, time to explore new dreams and life visions, because the old one wasn’t a failure, it just ran its course. We learn what we needed, thank you, next.

What part of your life can you reframe? instead of rejection, see it as divine protection.

Thank you, Universe — I am ready for what is Next.

4. Process and Release Your Feelings

We hear all the time in personal development and spiritual communities to feel your feelings, but processing and releasing them is just as important. When a feeling comes up, where you feel hopeless, anxious, lost, terrified, or lonely, etc., address the emotion. Ask yourself, “How am I feeling?” Then you can ask yourself, “Where is this in my body?” You may feel it in the pit of your stomach or a thump in your chest, etc. Then ask yourself “When is the first time I felt this way?” “What is the root of this?” “Why am I feeling this way?” Most often it’s because we feel out of control, and we feel like we have lost direction in an area of our life. This means we do not have faith or trust; we’ve been leaning into fear. Invite in more love and light. Recognize your emotions do not need to rule you. The feelings you have do not need to take over. Remember you are not your emotions. You can feel them and heal them by processing then releasing.

5. Release Outdated Beliefs, Patterns and Habits

What’s happening in your life when you feel completely out of sorts is, you are transitioning to new layers of life and levels of living. You’re like the caterpillar who has not morphed into the butterfly. The caterpillar does not know it’s going to become a butterfly. It just knows that it is feeling stuck, trapped, and parts of it feel as if it’s dying off. Let these parts of yourself go, you are shedding. This includes outdated beliefs that are no longer serving you. Old patterns and habits can be released as well. You will feel lighter, and you will have a clear perspective on your life.

Recognize this is a process, and it happens moment by moment, when you choose to be a conscious participant in your own life. If things feel tough for you, realize the world is not happening to you. You are not being punished. Right now you have an opportunity to create what you want through this time, and you do that by being aware of what is happening in each moment within yourself. Measure the growth in your life by the shifts occurring within you. It’s by what’s going on inside of you, so pay attention to your inner world right now because it needs you and  it can help you navigate any difficult time.

I’d love to hear in the comments what has been working for you in times of transition and change.