Mother’s day is just around the corner in the United States. For some who identified as growing up with a traumatic background, this can be one of the more layered and triggering days of the year. For others who are best friends with their mother, this is a day of delight and appreciation.
Whether you celebrate your mother, are still close to them in person, miss your mother, or have gone no contact, we can all use this time to reflect on how our mothers have shaped and affected us. There is a concept we can all benefit from this time of year, this is the idea of re-mothering yourself, essentially being there for you, as an adult, as a mother would for a child.
Taking a moment to pause on the idea of “Mother” The archetype of mother we can see there are traits that can help benefit us all. Empathetic, supportive, kind, safe, warm, nurturing, and accepting, these qualities are important whether your mother was able to give them to you or not, you can give these to yourself as an adult. This is a process of self-love and caring for yourself even more.
Consider asking yourself…
- How can I mother myself more right now?
- What mothering can I do for me, as in how can I be more kind to myself?
- What nurturing do I need in my life?
- How can I be there for myself in ways I never have?
The concept of re-mothering yourself is important, and wildly practiced in the therapeutic, trauma recovery and mental health space, as it helps us connect deeper to our own authentic selves and practice self-love more fully.
In honor of mothers day, here are powerful ways to mother yourself.
Show Up For Yourself
Most mothers are self-sacrificing, they will give past capacity and put everyone else first. This is most often from a place of love, but they end up depleted and exhausted. Take some time to be there for you. Show up for you in ways you never have before.
In my 1:1 coaching practice, I work with clients who want to build a stronger connection to themselves. And one of the best ways we can do that is by asking, how can I show up for myself in ways I never have?
Speak Kindly to Yourself
In the same way, we would never shame, blame or talk poorly to a child, re-mothering ourselves as adults mean speaking kindly to yourself about yourself. There is an inner child in you that wants so much to be accepted, loved, heard, and seen? As an adult, you can be with that part of you and connect through kind words, self-compassion, and self-care. Pay attention to critical thoughts and start to shift them to more gentle loving ones.
Validate Your Own Emotions
When we have uncomfortable feelings that arise, it can be easy to push them away, work over them, and do things to distract us from feeling the uncomfortable emotions. But these feelings have information for us and can help us feel better if we pay attention to them. When you listen to your own inner world, it allows you to be more present in the outer world. We all have a primal human need to feel valued and loved, but when this is not being met, it is our opportunity to turn inward and value and approve of ourselves, we can mother ourselves.
Build a Self-Care Support Team
Working with a mentor, therapist or coach can help support your mental landscape. As a trauma informed coach and mental health specialist, I help clients reclaim their true self with self-love, self-awareness and understanding. On our wellness journey working with others can be a beneficial step as we connect inward and learn the importance of building positive relationships with ourselves so we can show up better for others.
I know first-hand how much coaches and therapists have helped me on my journey which is why I am offering a special mother’s day sale on all coach and mentor programs. If you want to work together make sure you grab this deal by Sunday, May 14th 2023. Use code “MOTHERMYSELF” at check out for 15% off. You can use the sessions any time, but discount code expires this Sunday May 14th.
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It’s amazing! You seem to know what I need when I need it. I’m dealing with this same issue in therapy. I already have a wonderful therapist, but your wonderful website is full of insights and ideas that are a great back-up between sessions and when I have memory lapses due to the stress of daily life and having to deal with other people and their crap that there is no getting around. Thank you for wonderful work!