Today I am committed to caring for myself. I can look in the mirror and smile in gratitude for who I am and how far I’ve come. I can truly say, “I love myself.” But it hasn’t always been this way. I spent over three decades at war with myself. I hated my body; it was to blame for everything in my life. The failed relationships, the missed opportunities, the rejection and ridicule—it was my body’s entire fault, so I thought.
For years I would pinch my extra skin, cry out into the dark night, praying for a thinner body, a different frame, a smaller stomach. I hated myself because I despised the way I looked. The majority of my thoughts were obsessive about how large, ugly, or unworthy I was. I couldn’t look into mirrors without saying hateful words about how I felt. I thought my life would be better when I was “not me” but smaller, thinner, not so chubby, not thick or round. I wanted to change so badly, but every failed diet resulted in lower self-esteem, more guilt, and even more self-sabotage.
Can you relate?
Even when the diets worked (for a short period), when I lost all the weight, I still hated me. I thought I needed my body to change in order for me to have a happy life. But when it changed, my inner critic never did. I’d lose ten pounds and gain twenty. This continued for two full decades until I found myself almost a hundred pounds overweight and experiencing a complete disappearing act of self-esteem. I found myself crying in the hotel bathroom, ashamed to look in the mirror. I was hours away from going on Seattle’s morning television show to talk about my first book and sharing tips on how to be happy. I was teaching others how to be happy, but I couldn’t find one good thing to say about myself. That was the moment when I realized something needed to change.
Sure, I was happier than I had ever been. A few years prior I had just barely made it through some major life changes. I left my corporate job in advertising, moved across the country, left a man who wanted to marry me, and overcame eating disorders, drug addiction, and clinical depression to follow my heart and become a writer. Here I was, living my dream life, but it still felt like a dream. I didn’t recognize my body, or who I was. I wasn’t fully in love with my life because I didn’t love all of me; I didn’t think I mattered.
It was at that moment, when looking into the hotel mirror, that I asked myself how happy can you be, if you don’t truly love yourself?
I made a promise to myself. I said, “Shannon, your full-time mission is to find self-love. It’s time to become your own best friend.”
The next few years I went on a deep inward journey, what I call the Self-Love Experiment (which turned into my last book), and I discovered the most beautiful thing in the world: Me Matters.
Today I love myself. I know how hard it is to live a life where you are at war with yourself. I know it can be hard to believe you are worthy of love and acceptance. I, too, once thought self-love was selfish, and I spent years avoiding my heart’s desires because I didn’t think my dreams mattered. All that changed when I discovered radical self-acceptance.
I am sharing this story with you today because I know how import it is to feel good and take care of yourself. Which is why I am leading a online workshop April 28, called Radical Self-Acceptance. Sign up here.
If you’ve struggled with self-acceptance, low confidence or self-doubt, it’s time for a new approach. Radical Self-Acceptance is an online live-streaming workshop to help you overcome self-sabotage, doubt and shame.
You’ll discover:
- Why self-love isn’t selfish but a privilege
- Where your shame and self-doubt came from, whether it came from ancestry, society, or some particular wound in your life
- How to accept yourself in all the ages and stages of life
- How to love yourself during illness, pain and trauma
- How to understand your addictions and habits so you can overcome them
- How to understand your relationship with your self sets the tone for everything.
- Tools to empower yourself so you can support those around you
- The truth of who you are and what you are here to do
We are here to love every part of ourselves. Join me on this amazing journey of uplifting inner work!
Even if you can’t make the live session, you can send your questions beforehand and you’ll get lifetime access to the workshop.
When: April 28th
What Time: 4:00 p.m. PST/ 7:00 p.m. EST
Where: Online, anyone anywhere in the world can join
Price: $25
P.S. If you liked today’s message, this is an excerpt from my book The Self-Love Experiment, order your own copy here.
