When I was a little girl, my family moved around a lot. Each time we moved I had to change schools. As the new kid in school I was picked on, bullied and laughed at for being different. In an effort to over-compensate, I learned at a very young age the benefits of being an over achiever. I thought, “If my peers don’t understand me, at least my teacher and parents will, and someone will be proud of me.”
Setting new goals, and reaching them, became a fun game for me. Throughout my entire life, I have enjoyed making goals and reaching them.
Now almost 20 years later, I am aiming for even bigger goals. Over the past few months, I have put myself on an aggressive plan to reach new heights in my career. Everything from nailing a big book deal, to being a featured guest on national TV; I am visualizing these new plateaus daily.
Something happened a few weeks ago that kept me from moving forward, the stress and forced pace of pushing to my new goals was exhausting
me. Instead of listening to my body, and the little warning signs along the way, I kept pressing forward until eventually my body shut down.
I had an emotional, spiritual and physical breakdown that resulted in a weekend-long hibernation. My body felt like a truck had run over it, my brain was fried, and I kept crying hysterically for no real reason.
The only thing that helped was a lot of sleep, intense self-care and major down time. I turned off my phone, closed my computer and cuddled up with my dog. After 48 hours of hitting the pause button, I learned a few things about aiming for new goals, and ultimately, about letting our passion get the best of us. For me, it meant leanring the art of surrender.
Sometimes, with our big goals come big stress. In the effort of racing around and trying desperately to be there for everyone else, I was actually leaving myself out of the equation of my own life.
As I fearlessly checked things off my to do list, I was neglecting my own needs. I was so focused on my future self, and reaching my goals of tomorrow, that I was completely unresponsive to my present needs.
I can imagine this happens to many of us. It is natural to want to be there for others, and as dreamers who work towards our goals, we are often fueled with passion. But the dark side of goal setting, the part that no one ever talks about, can leave us exhausted and paralyzed by actions of doing, rather than being present for the journey.
Since my mini breakdown, I have taken on a healthier approach to reaching my goals.
The reality is that goals are great to work towards, but if you are an overachiever junkie, *ahem* such as me, then goals can become obsessions. In , the pursuit of reaching ultimate happiness, we can sometimes disappear in the chaos and forget that the journey is the reward.
For me, my shift happened when I realized that this moment matters. The journey is indeed more spectacular than the actual goal, but it can only be awesome if we are present to it.
The goal is not actually the destination. Racing from one dream to the next is not necessarily a healthy way to live. Slowing down and giving yourself permission to relax and actually enjoy the journey is the true magic of living.
My wish for all you goal setters is for you to enjoy the path and be present for the magic in each special moment of achieving those goals.
Our goals will always be there; we will swiftly move to each new one and create new ones accordingly, but the breathtaking and intoxicating potion of this magical life is in this moment. The moments are the journey, and the journey is the real reward.
Much Love,
Shannon
