How to Bounce Back Quick When Things Don’t Go Your Way

It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”

— Paulo Coelho

I want to update you on the Iceland travel writing gig (turns out it wasn’t a travel writing job, but they were looking for a TV host for a travel web series). Well, as you can imagine, I didn’t get the job. I know some of you were interested in potentially traveling with me if I won, but out of 13,000 applicants they hired a professional actor and commercial editor and director for their TV Guide show. I am super happy for the team that got picked. How is it I can be so accepting of not getting something I wanted so bad?

Because I live my life with the understanding that

The Universe Always Knows

What Is in Your Highest Good.

We may think we want something, but when we trust that there is a plan greater than ours, we can relax into our life and trust the process. If there is something you want and it isn’t flowing, instead of focusing on how it isn’t here, turn your attention to faith. When we know that everything that is happening (or isn’t happening the way we want) is for a reason, we can live our life with more joy. If what you want doesn’t seem to want you, you’ll love these tools to help you remove the blocks keeping you from manifesting your desires. Here are uplifting tips on how you can trust the process.

Stop Focusing on How What You Want Isn’t Here

Have you ever noticed some things are easy to manifest, while others, the thing you really, really want, seem so hard? Maybe you’ve spent years trying to find your soul mate, or perhaps your dream job hasn’t panned out. The things we want most can elude us, but most often it is because we are focusing on how what we want isn’t here.

I admit, when I was focusing on the travel gig with WOW air, I kept thinking about how I don’t currently write full-time for a company. As I thought about getting the job, there was part of me that was so focused on how I don’t have it. Are you doing this too? Catch yourself—are you focusing more on what you don’t want than what you do? Turn your attention to feeling what you want. One way to manifest what you want is to focus on the law of attraction. Repeat “What I want, wants me too,” and ask yourself, what is it about what you want that you desire most? Why is it so important to you? You see it wasn’t actually the travel guide job I wanted but what that represented.

I did this exercise and my answer:

I want to be part of something bigger than myself.

I want to take all my skills, talent and passion and share it with even more people. I want to push my limits and grow as a human. I want to live a wow life.

Then I realized, I am already doing all that. So, the next step is to replace want with the present tense. For me it became:

I am part of something bigger than myself.

I take all my skills, talent and passion and share it with even more people.

I push my limits and am growing as a human.

 I live a wow life.

Try this out for yourself. What is it you truly want, the essence of it? Then replace want with the present tense. When we want something, it is outside of us, still not quite within reach. Replace want with present tense am and you will see you already have what you need. You are already being and living what you desire. Understanding what we want and why we want it is going to help us reach our goals faster. 

Accept and Appreciate Your Life as It Is Now

“The reason you want everything that you want, is because you think it will help you feel really good when you get there. But, if you don’t feel good on your way there, you can’t get there. You have to be satisfied with what is while you’re reaching for more.”—Abraham Hicks

Most of the time we want something because we think it will save us from the current situation we don’t like. We want to find our soul mate so we can feel less lonely. We want more money so we can have the freedom to do what we want. But when we can accept and appreciate what is now, we will feel good now, and we will be able to attract what we want much easier, because there is no resistance.

Address Your Shadow Side

When we want something and it doesn’t come easily, the space in between can often bring up our insecurities. We start to doubt ourselves and feel unworthy. This is because our egos will always focus on what needs to be healed. The ego shines a spotlight on the areas of life that we feel are inadequate. It amplifies our insecurities. Our only job is to send it more love. We can recognize our ego is trying to manipulate the situation when we feel self-doubt. The doubt that comes up is an indicator of where we need more grace. Most of the time the things we are most doubtful about have nothing to do with the outcome. It is just our fear-based mind trying to trick us into settling. To overcome this, we focus on what we do appreciate about ourselves and what is going well.

Stop Filling in the Blanks

Sometimes we don’t have all the information we need, but we fill in the blanks with our own imagination. Before the winners were revealed, I felt like I was a perfect fit, but I didn’t know enough about the company or what they were looking for. If I got the job, I would have had to be someone I am not. The style, content and focus of the travel shows were not in alignment with who I am as a person or the direction I am going in my life.

The universe knew this, so our focus shouldn’t be on trying to control the outcome but to trust that what we don’t know is often the behind the scenes that the universe is taking care of. Trust this process and know that everything always happens the way it is supposed to.

Don’t Ignore the Red Flags

How could I spend three weeks of my life focusing on what I thought I wanted, giving my mental energy to the potential of a possibility, only to feel a sense of peace that I didn’t get it? It’s because I know with every fiber of my body that what happens in our life is always for our highest good and I was aware of the red flags. I thought things like: I don’t really want to live in Iceland, I don’t want to work full-time for a company, I really just want to write my next book, and isn’t it weird they are hiring an employee without interviewing them, only a video entry qualifies? All the red flags became scorching hot. During the manifestation process, when the possibility of me getting the job was still a possibility, I ignored these thoughts. I pushed them under the rug pretending that this job would have been my everything.

We all do this. In relationships we may see red flags but we ignore them only to say to ourselves later, I told you so. When we are honest with ourselves, there are red flags, warning signs and bumps along the way. These are indicators that maybe the things we think we want aren’t always the best fit for us. Don’t ignore these. Be honest with yourself because those red flags, the little thoughts that maybe something isn’t right for you, are guidance and support trying to steer you in a better direction.

When something doesn’t go the way we want, it is our universal support system (our higher self) seeing the big picture for us and protecting us.

It knows what truly is in our highest good, so holding on to what we think we want only prevents us from getting what we truly desire.

When we don’t get what we think we want, we can relax into knowing that what is right for us will always find its way, and nothing truly meant for us will ever pass us by.

This requires a dedication to faith and knowing that everything that is happening is for your highest good. Once we begin to live this principle, we no longer feel rejected and we see that we are always being protected. It becomes a beautiful dance with the universe as you begin to co-create from a soul level your true deepest desires.

So my dear, enjoy the process and trust that everything that happens is for your highest good.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments what tip works best for you. Share below.