Did you know that June is post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) awareness month? One of the contributing factors that impact our mental health the most is our relationships with others, (and ourselves — a friendly reminder today that how you talk to yourself matters dear ~Contact.FirstName~,) and the rise of emotional abuse.
Truth is it’s one of the hardest forms of abuse to recognize as it can be subtle and insidious. New research studies show that emotional abuse is just as serious as other forms of abuse, as it can chip away at your self-esteem, and you can begin to doubt your perceptions and reality. This means, if you doubt or criticize yourself regularly, it could be because of the people around you, and not actually you (insert mind-blown emoji here, OMG— RIGHT!)
To shed light on the millions impacted by these conditions I’ve been active on Instagram @ShannonKaiserWrites about my own mental health and healing journey and just last week, for the first time ever, I opened up about the decades of emotional and psychological abuse in my past romantic relationships. The thing is, while I was in this relationship with friends, romantic partners, coworkers, and family, I didn’t recognize it as abuse, I just assumed this is how people relate to one another, and I took on all that doubt and shame and carried it around as my own internal pain, it is all I ever knew. But as I focused on my own mental and physical health, I got stronger, and healthier and discovered a deeper sense of self-love and my own worth. Because I valued and respected myself, I could see what I couldn’t before, that I was surrounded by users, takers, self-centered focused people who were taking advantage of my time, money, energy, body, mind, and kindness; and frankly giving nothing back in return.
I was being disrespected, neglected, invalidated, bullied, controlled, lied to and manipulated on the daily. I cared about people and wanted to help others, but this people-pleasing, overly available, and being a personal life coach to those in my personal life, left me always wondering why I was exhausted, with a body in chronic pain.
I was always asking myself why people are doing this behavior, not reciprocating, friends always giving back handed compliments, disappearing when I needed them, or making me feel like a burden in their life, unless they needed or wanted something from me. Instead of focusing on them, I started to focus on me, and stopped asking why are they doing this behavior?” to “why am I allowing it!” That was a radical shift for me, and I reclaimed my power and recognized that mistreatment is disrespect and no matter how much one cares and loves someone, abuse, is abuse.
Emotional and psychological abuse can happen in any relationship and can have a devastating impact on its victims. This is why as a trauma-informed, mindset coach I went onto the Portland Afternoon Live TV show to share tips on How to Recognize & Break Free From Emotional Abuse and share a bit more on my own journey and how we can protect ourselves moving forward.
Watch Here:
If you or someone you care about may be in an abusive relationship, confidential help is available. To talk it out, make a plan to stay safe, or figure out next steps, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224, text “START” to 88788.
