I used to have a best friend, and we would talk sometimes two or three times a day. We met up weekly for brunch and coffee dates. It was amazing to have that type of connection with someone, a true soul sister. But over time, our relationship changed.
When we made plans, she would cancel at the last minute, promising to call or text. Weeks turned into months, and I never heard from her. Eventually my trust and faith in her disappeared. I kept trying to figure out what had happened to cause such distance. Was it something I said or did?
We often worry and blame ourselves when things change in relationships. But this habit of thinking I was the problem had to end.
I finally spoke up and told my friend how I was feeling. I told her that I missed the closeness we once had and that to maintain our friendship there had to be a two-way effort. I shared that I felt hurt when she continued to blow me off. This turned into an argument. She defended herself, saying she was busy and didn’t have the luxury of hanging out because of her daily demands and responsibilities.
It then occurred to me that I was making it all about me when, of course, her situation was about her. I realized that maybe our relationship had run its course. And then another idea hit me: all relationships are divine assignments.
Knowing When to Release a Relationship
Whether it is a romantic partner, a sibling, a friend, or even someone you have recently met, all of our relationships present grand opportunities for us to grow and learn more about our true selves.
Likewise, all relationships will change over time, and knowing if and when to move on can be a challenge. These tips can help you make the right choice moving forward:
- Ask yourself: “Will changing this relationship improve my inner peace?”
- Then, ask the universe for the inner strength and courage to change the form of the relationship if need be.
- And have the strength to change what you cannot accept.
Meditation for Letting Go of a Relationship If you want to leave or change a relationship, you can work on a soul level to ensure both of you go in peace, love, and harmony. The following meditation and accompanying audio version are inspired by Soul Love: Awakening Your Heart Centers by Sanaya Roman. First, close your eyes and imagine the person standing next to you. Step 1: Imagine that you have both been walking along a path together and now there is a fork in the road. It is in the highest good for both involved to go forth on your respective separate paths. Know that each one of you has become more of who you are supposed to be and must now concentrate on this new route for optimal growth and awareness. Step 2: Pay attention to how you feel in this moment of parting. Trust the process and release this person with love by repeating the mantra: I am willing to release this relationship with peace and harmony. No need to see this as an ending. Rather, focus on the new beginning—and the necessity for you both to move and evolve in different directions to get what you each need. Step 3: See the relationship as a success. Reflect on all the experiences you both created together. Celebrate the relationship with love. Repeat the mantra: I thank you for our relationship. I release you with love.
When a Friend Moves Away From You
“If someone is leaving you or has recently left, is pulling away or acting indifferent, do not dwell on what you could say or do to draw this person closer,” Roman writes. “Instead reflect on how this person’s actions are mirroring something that is going on within you. Ask, how have you been leaving this relationship yourself? Perhaps you’ve been distant or questioning the relationship yourself.”
We don’t always realize it, but we often put extra burdens on others and ourselves when we idolize, look up to, and put others on pedestals. Looking up to people and seeing them as better than us keeps us from feeling our true worth.
When you take a step back and see that everyone is experiencing life in their own personal way, you start to see everything as a dance, in which you co-create with others and your relationships become divine assignments and experiments.
Questions to ask:
- How can I release all judgment, comparison, and shame and focus more on my own path?
- Which relationships feel strained and which ones need more attention and care?
This is adapted and excerpted from Return to You: 11 Spiritual Lessons for Unshakable Inner Peace published by Sounds True April 2022.
