When I was diagnosed with clinical depression over a decade ago, I came across an article in O, the Oprah Magazine written by Martha Beck on how to stop self-sabotage and return back to you. I pulled out a pen and tried the action steps that she presented in the article. Within a few days, I saw a profound shift in my behavior, thought process and direction in life. I quickly became a loyal follower of Martha Beck’s work, often quoting, sharing and using her teaching in my own life. When you find something that works, you stick with it, and Martha has a magical way of distilling life’s biggest hurdles into simple, practical, easy steps we can do in the moment to shift closer to wholeness.
It’s safe to say that over my three-decade span of a dedicated personal growth journey and path back to my true self, she is one of the top people who have influenced and impacted me and my work the most. So when her team reached out last year with an advanced copy of her new book, The Way of Integrity, Finding Your Path to Your True Self, for an endorsement, I was both honored and thrilled. As I dove into her next book, I was blown away, not only by the perfect timing of the message but the deep honest truths she presents as a path forward for us all.
As Beck says in the book, “Integrity is the cure for psychological suffering. Period.” Her first self-help book in eight years, The Way of Integrity is a step-by-step guide anyone can use to find a sense of purpose, emotional healing and a life free of mental suffering. The truth is, we live in a culture that teaches us specific rules for navigating society successfully, and in following these rules, we begin to split ourselves from our essential beings, our deepest truths.
The way of integrity is one of ultimate freedom. You were born in full integrity—it’s your nature.
As Beck says, “You were born in full integrity—it’s your nature. But for humans, nature quickly runs into culture. From babyhood, you were socialized to suppress aspects of your nature to serve social systems. When you forced yourself to do things that weren’t true to your instincts (kissing weird Aunt Eugenia, smiling sweetly when you were miserable, and so on), you split away from your real self. You went from being in integrity (one thing) to being in duplicity (two things). If you ever tried to please many people, all with slightly different preferences, you were in ‘multiplicity’ (many things).” Fellow people-pleasers, today’s message is for you. What results in a total loss of self, constant confusion, self-loathing, anxiety—even addictions. But there is a path back to wholeness.
In a time of such diversity and chaos, to help us find our way back to full integrity, I invited Martha Beck onto the Awakened & Aligned Podcast show. Today I talk to her about the power of integrity and how it can align us back to our true selves. When we are connected to this part of ourselves, our true self, we are free from suffering, illusions and conflict that has previously held us back.
Beck breaks down the process of attaining personal integrity into small, manageable steps and demonstrates how to read our internal signals to lead us toward our true path.
We also talk:
- How to determine your mission?
- How, amid all this cultural pressure, do we find and live in pure integrity?
- How do we rise above the social pressure to honor our truth and trust the unknown?
- What is tribal shaming and how can we break free?
- When teachers become hindrances and how to ultimately become our own hero
- Plus, two powerful exercises and tools to help you break free from self-sabotage, shame and blame
- The single-step we can all take at any time to connect with the peace and wholeness of integrity
- The four questions to ask to return to our true self and make choices that are 100% aligned
- Plus, easy steps to reclaim balance and wholeness with self so we can help to uplift the planet
Martha often jokes that her integrity has always pushed her to extremes. During her decade studying and working at Harvard, the intellectual capital of the country, she abandoned the culture that values smarts above all else by choosing not to end a pregnancy when her son was diagnosed with an intellectual disability. She then returned to Utah and her conservative Mormon roots, only to come out as a lesbian. And today she teaches by example, proving that the way of integrity is one of ultimate freedom. You were born in full integrity—it’s your nature.
Listen to the full episode here:
About Martha Beck:
Martha Beck is a bestselling author, life coach, and speaker who specializes in helping individuals and groups achieve greater levels of personal and professional success. She is the author of nine nonfiction books and one novel, and has contributed monthly to O, The Oprah Magazine since its inception. She holds a PhD in sociology from Harvard. Beck spent a decade at Harvard before becoming a life coach, and is also a renowned public speaker—you can watch her TED Talk on the technologies of magic here. Using techniques developed with hundreds of her clients, Beck brings her expertise as a social scientist, life coach, and human being to help readers uncover what integrity looks like in their own lives. She takes us on a spiritual adventure that will not only change the direction of our lives, but bring us to a place of genuine happiness.
About The Way of Integrity:
A book uniquely suited for our troubled times, THE WAY OF INTEGRITY explains why integrity is the key to a meaningful and joyful life. THE WAY OF INTEGRITY is a step-by-step guide anyone can use to find a sense of purpose, emotional healing, and a life free of mental suffering. To help us find our way back to full integrity, Beck uses an unlikely guidebook: Dante’s The Divine Comedy (which she calls “the first great self-help book”). Using Dante’s classic hero’s journey as a framework, Beck breaks down the process of attaining personal integrity into small, manageable steps, and demonstrates how to read our internal signals to lead us towards our true path.
Beck teaches readers how to return to their deepest truth by following the stages that Dante takes:
- Starting in The Dark Wood of Error (where we don’t feel great, but we don’t know why)
- Entering The Inferno (where we will have to identify and lose our false beliefs)
- Moving through Purgatory (where we begin to follow our truth in the real world—and deal with the backlash)
- Arriving in Paradise (where what you wish for appears almost miraculously)
