Click to watch, if you dig it share it here.
Are you frustrated with someone in your life? Is it impossible to get along with or get what you want from them? Maybe you feel like they aren’t treating you with respect.
Difficult people are a common occurrence, especially since we all have different points of views, opinions, and ways of approaching the world. If you are a sensitive person, you may take the troubling situation even harder. As a highly sensitive person myself, I know I do. When a difficult person comes into my life, I usually obsess about it and take it even harder. I stay up at night trying to understand why this situation is happening.
I believe that everyone we meet, especially difficult people, are divine assignments for us to identify even greater strengths and become more self-aware. This mentality has helped me heal otherwise detrimental situations and allowed me to forgive much easier.
Learning how to create a conflict resolution mentality will serve you and all your relationships. Here are some new techniques to help you make all relationships less troubling.
1. Be aware of ego projections.
We all have this little, negative voice that is manipulative, controlling, and says things like “why is this person mistreating me? I should be getting more. I can’t believe they are doing this to me.” The ego makes it about “me, me, me.” When we are in the ego mindset, we put ourselves on a pedestal, and this separates us from the other person. We think we are better and they are wrong, which often plays into the conflict already created. If you are having a difficult time with someone, focus on your energy and mindset about them. Many difficult people are in our lives to teach us lessons we need to learn—life lessons like being more compassionate or understanding or open to other points of view. Becoming aware of your ego and the fear-based thoughts in the situation will help you move into awareness and see the situation for what it is: an opportunity to learn more about yourself.
2. Send them light and love.
When you are dealing with a difficult person, the ultimate goal is to forgive them, but sometimes it is hard because we are emotionally too frustrated. Being willing to forgive is the first step—all you need to do is be wiling, and in this willingness the healing can begin. You can start by sending them love and light. Mentally, sending them kind thoughts can help you energetically release the resentment.
3. Ask what are we teaching each other?
Every person we meet is a divine assignment. If you are dealing with a difficult person, you are each other’s teachers. Instead of blaming them or being mad that they are so frustrating, ask yourself, “What are they teaching me? What am I teaching them?” Whether the other person gets the lesson or not is not the point. The point of this exercise is to move yourself into a higher vibration so you will know that you are learning from the experience.
When we learn what we need to learn, the situation is healed and removed from our life. Everyone is our teacher, so being open to the profound lesson available to you will help you heal all troubling situations. Remember, it is all about growth and healing, and nothing lasts forever.
If you find yourself in a difficult relationship, try to identify the core lesson, and soon enough this person will no longer bother you. They don’t have to change, but your perspective does, and when it does, everything changes.
All of this happens on your side of the street. A lot of conflict resolution has to happen on the inside before you can resolve it on the outside. But taking these steps will help you move through troubling situations so you can turn all conflicts into resolution.
Awesome Action: I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. What strategies do you use to handle a difficult person?
Thanks for the video, it came at a perfect time 🙂 having some troubles very similar to what you were going through. I´m gonna try to send love, but I do feel like that is a bit hard right now… maybe after a couple days when the confusion and my difficult emotions have decrease a bit?
I use the saying “They are doing the best they can” and “they don´t mean to have this affect on me” and often I look at what is really going on, because often it is much deeper then it first appears, why am I really getting this upset. Then I try to work through that mentally and also with meditation 🙂
Have a great weekend
Love
Your B-school buddy Sara 😉
Thanks so much for this post Shannon! It really makes me think more about difficult people. It does suck when those difficult people bring negative energy and attempt to tear you down especially over a long period of time but thank you so much.
Great post! I used to have a difficult time with projections. I had a very hard time accepting that the other person is displaying a way of being that I would never consciously display myself. The whole concept of someone else mirroring me made me angry. Then the concept of wholeness came into my awareness. Once I realized that every quality that exists is within me, and is there for a reason, I began to see how people are my mirrors. In order for me to fully see myself I need a mirror. That’s where other people come in. If I was emotionally charged about someone’s behavior or way of being I knew there was something about myself that I was denying, because they are showing me, me. I had to look at this quality with new eyes and see where in my life I displayed the quality, and realize too that I may not be displaying it in the same way. Once I found where I was “being” that quality I was able to look for and find the gift in that quality which made it so much easier to accept that I was that quality. Once I accepted that my wholeness showed up and I wasn’t triggered by their actions anymore. Just the awareness of this concept has provided so much healing in my life. I have tools to evolve now. Projections are gifts from the Universe telling me I’m out of alignment. And since projections can be dark or light I can also see how awesome I am. That’s one reason I keep following you, my dear:) I need to see my light projection of a successful, connected, courageous entrepreneur.
Not making it about me.I realised when I make it about me I use the victim filter. When I look at the situation from an impersonal point of view I realise that what get me on the victim filter is really nothing personal it’s just people’s shortcomings, fears, ignorance and so I have a more compassionate view.They’re just being who they are saying what they feel or believe and are entitled to it.Although I feel it personally it isn’t personal, I’m making it personal, by doing so I’m allowing to get worked up because of others when in reality it’s because of me.This calls for a more compassionate version of myself and that’s the challenging part and I totally agree on your view on the subject.Thank you Shannon.
I really like your take on forgiveness. I teach that as an important tool as well and I’m going to share your idea of “be willing to forgive” even if it’s not right in that moment but sending love & light. Brilliant! (As usual) 🙂